After a long and barren vacation, I have returned to continue my blogging escapades. Though I promise this time around it will most definitely be more frequent and filled with entirely too much content. Maybe.
I’ve worn thousand dollar suits, shook hands with men that made more money than you could stomach without being an evil world dominator, and I’ve had the pleasure of working with some of the greatest artists to ever walk this planet. Everyone from 2D artists, 3D artists, and even country music artists. Some of which are still rocking up Nashville, and some of which who have quit the game but haven’t forgotten their roots. I have worked at strip clubs (some of you I met working there) and I have been one of the youngest people to ever spend more than 3 grand in one night on a stripper named Nicole. Okay so that last one isn’t one of my more proud moments, in fact the girls stole my debit card that night to prevent me from spending any more money. You know you’ve hit the big time when a stripper lifts your debit card to prevent you from making anymore skin induced transactions. My friend Jeff, who I can only hope someday reads this, might remember that night. Then again, that could be the night he got so drunk me and a couple of our friends had to drag him out. Regardless, the point is for a 23 year old I’ve lived the life of a 40 year old.
I’ve finally found my groove in life though. By night I act as a starving artist who wants nothing more than to have the world see his work, by day I’m an avid businessman who although has left the nightlife behind, still wishes he had a leg in it for the sole purpose of spreading the smiles and good fortune that I once had the pleasure of sharing. Whether it be taking a few ladies down to 2nd Avenue to hand out free passes to the club or handing a check and a handshake to a starving musician to pay for his big break, I have to admit I miss it.
The truth is that I lived the fast life for a lot of years. Not a lot of years in the scope a human life, but a lot of years in the scope of the quarter century that I’ve been on this planet. There are nights that I can’t sleep because I miss the addictive nature of living that life and other nights I can’t sleep because I regret leaving it behind in order to grow into something more. That life I would only ever have been remembered as a helluva great guy to party with, a kid with more money than sense, and a guy that just couldn’t smile enough. In the scope of things, only that last one is something I’d ever really want to be remembered for.
Now I’m known as Mr. Flamegoat, a guy who ran one of the most popular channels on Justin TV, many of you reading met me there. That will quickly fade into the distance as it has already faded a great deal and for only a short while longer will that even remain in the back of the thoughts of those that watched.
I can’t help but ask myself, is that enough?
Not for me it’s not, and only the future will tell whether or not I’m ever satisfied with the progress I make in life. My goal is to die remembered not only for the creations I’ve left behind, but the future creations I’ve yet to inspire, but inevitably will. We remember Socrates, Artemetes, DaVinci, and Van Gogh for the words or works they left behind, but more importantly we remember them for the art and words that they continue to inspire now and well into the future. If I can only inspire the line of people who meet me well into the future then I will feel I’ve lived a life with purpose.
Fame and fortune is nothing to aspire for, but being the reason a child picks up a paintbrush instead of a gun most definitely is.
Nice blog and loving the layout.
I feel confident that you will continue to inspire. I will always shudder a bit to think WHAT you will inspire, but I feel confident that your gift of expression will inspire others to create as well, even if all they create is a thought process that they follow to the end. I can’t wait to see who you’ll become, and I will most definitely remember you as the guy who couldn’t smile enough and who helped others smile when no one else really could.
Matt after reading your blog, I feel the need to leave you a comment. I have watched you on justin.tv for a quite awhile. You were and still are one of the best casters to watch. Your rants/ comments and discussions are always entertaining and makes one think. Your recent come back to justin.tv to cast yourself designing things and modeling, I find to be very interesting and inspiring. I like the tips are tricks you show and tell to the viewers, and the way you talk through your process and what you will be doing next in whatever you are creating. I really hope you continue to cast on justin.tv, I will continue to check your channel periodically in the hopes of finding you on there doing what you do best.