Family Planning

So I was walking through CVS looking for condoms a little while back and for the life of me I couldn’t find them. Eventually I come across a little pocket in an aisle called “Family Planning” with a wall full of more condom types then there are positions to use them with. Suddenly it dawned on me, the reason I couldn’t find the condoms was because “Family Planning” suggests that I’m planning to have a family. Which if I’m buying condoms does that not mean I’m intentionally planning to NOT have a family? It really makes you think.

Who was the dumbass that decided to name this “Family Planning” movement?

Let’s start a new movement called “Don’t get A.I.Ds”, or maybe “I don’t like to change diapers”. I have a feeling if I saw a “Safe Fucking” I’d know where to go to buy my condoms. Family Planning? Not to mention if I’m thinking about getting laid, the last thing I want to do is be thinking about “family”. Really people, how many unmarried early 20’s guys really like to think about their girl possibly getting pregnant? It’s bad enough that the package says 99.9% effective, which we all know is because of the dumbasses that don’t know how to properly apply a condom and knock their women up only to blame it on the condom manufacturer. It’s the only way they can keep themselves safe from getting sued.

Be honest, how many times have you heard someone say “we got pregnant even while using a condom”? Once? Really? I dare you to go ask them if they were just too stupid to realize it broke, or that the guy pulled it off after dropping his load and decided it was safe to stick it back in bareback. Newsflash guys, swimmers will hold onto a rock until the tide comes in. If you didn’t catch that, then you aren’t smart enough to procreate anyways.

Back to the point at hand. It should NOT be called “Family Planning”. It’s distracting, and really I can’t take “Family Planning” seriously when there is a box of “Ribbed for her Pleasure Ultra Thin Ultra Sensitive Lubricated Hot Pink Glow in the Dark Condoms” sitting directly underneath the sign. Really, who could?